•Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and 
insist to others that you "like it that way". 

•Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 

•Staple papers in the middle of the page. 

•Ask 800 operators for dates. 

•Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings. 

•Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks. 

•Write in pen the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 

•Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". 

•Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public 
consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..." 

•Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. 

•Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's 
stereo, with the volume properly adjusted. 

•Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 

•Honk and wave to strangers. 

•Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of 
rental movies. 

•Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their 
complementary mints by the cash register. 

•dont use any punctuation either 

•Pay for your dinner with pennies. 

•Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 

•Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 

•Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's 
roadmaps. 

•Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ 
OJ Simpson conspiracy theories. 

•Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" 
"What?" 
"Never mind, it's gone now." 

•Light road flares on a birthday cake. 

•Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 

•Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 

•Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador". 

•Push all the flat Lego pieces together really tightly. 

•At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 
 

------- ~*Intermission*~ -------
 

•Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One". 

•Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. 

•Finish the 99 bottles of beer song. 

•Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 

•Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 

•Ask people what gender they are. 

•Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts 
back in the tray. 

•Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was 
a "real hoot". 

•Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that 
you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes". 

•Sculpt your hedges into anatomically suggestive shapes. 

•Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch 
with a can of Lysol. 

•Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, 
such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr Rogers theme 
song. 

•While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a 
parakeet. 

•Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 

•Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 

•Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being 
first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people 
pronounce each A. 

•Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see 
if they slow down. 

•Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 

•Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people 
play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 

•Ask to"interface" with someone. 

•Sing along at the opera. 

•At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!" 

•Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with 
prophesy". 

•Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend". 

•Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 

•Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers 
in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles". 

•Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't 
cricket." 

•Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic eye picture". 

•Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 

•Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims. 

•Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing 
awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 

•Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your 
ears. 

•Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, 
announcing the results. 

•Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 

•Make appointments for the 31st of September. 

•Invite lots of people to other people's parties. 

•Last but not least send everybody you can to this webpage!!!

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